Don't tell me that's not a tactic, jerk.

When I applied for my business license with the city of Sunnyvale, I was allowed to give a cell phone number in my primary contact information. Unfortunately, when I filed the DBA (doing business as) paperwork with the county of Santa Clara, I was not.

As part of the DBA process, you're required to post a notice in a local newspaper and let it run for a month--basically, it's just a notification to the community that you've started this business, with this fictitious name (you don't have to file this if your legal name is any part of the business name--in retrospect...alas), and they include your phone number.

You also start getting junk mail by the boatload. Advertisements for business office supplies, health insurance for your employees (which, heh, since I am the only employee...try again, folks), all kinds of crazy stuff. Aside to all the people who mine the papers to send out advertisements--you might want to get the business name right when you send that stuff out. If I get anything addressed to Angel Food, it is going right into the garbage, thanks.

Naturally, since your phone number is also published, and because they've made you give a land line and not a cell phone...you're also subject to all kinds of telemarketing-type calls. For some reason, the Do Not Call list doesn't cover this--I don't know the particulars, but I think it's because calls asking for charitable contributions are considered exempt, but I don't know.

What I *do* know is that these people are really starting to piss me off.

See, I made the mistake of donating to one of them almost two years ago, and now none of them will leave me alone.

It's this latest attempt that has me really annoyed, though.

Here I am, home a little early from work because I fell on my ass on some slippery pavement (which...is a different story all on its own). I'm in a whole lot of pain both from that (yay, back spasms--only not) and the sudden onset of cramps (yeah, I so love being a girl), I am crabby from dealing with stupid co-workers, and I am exhausted, so all I want is to take a nap, because maybe that'll help take the edge off the pain, and also there's a hockey game later, so I know I'll be home late, need to get some sleep now.

Just as I'm about to drift off, the phone rings.

Crap.

I answer the phone to find another one of these 'please give us money' calls, this time for missing children. Now...just because I don't really want kids of my own doesn't mean that I don't like kids--I do, I love kids, and I think the charities that I donate to independently really show that. But I politely interrupt the guy mid-spiel to thank him for calling, but really, as it is, I'm operating at a loss and I don't have any money to donate.

"But ma'am, you don't have to give anything now, we just want to help find these kids and bring them home."

Er...right. I got that part, but the end result is the same, you are still going to be asking me for money, which I don't have, so really, no.

The guy keeps trying to interrupt me--another thing that *really* trips my 'arg, you fucking frustrate me to no end' trigger--all song and dance about all they want to do is find these missing kids, and don't I care about children, and arrrrgh. So...finally, I just snapped.

"Look. If you interrupt me again, I am hanging up." (Which I should've done anyway.) "Listen to what I'm telling you. I have no money to give you, and I want you to take my number off whatever list you've got there and never call me again, and if you can't do that, then let me talk to your supervisor. And, by the way, I really don't appreciate this manipulation tactic."

And boy genius on the other end of the phone tries to tell me that he's not using any kind of tactic.

Okay, you know what, dude? Yes, you are. I have bitched about this before, probably in some locked LJ post somewhere, but I got a call from one of those firefighters associations once about two years after 9/11, and might have considered giving to the guy once, had the solicitation not *deliberately* played upon the emotions by talking about patriotism and 9/11--I mean, hello? We're in California, and yeah, I get that it's a dangerous job, but you know what? None of our firefighters were there that day, and since you're not asking me to donate to the NYFD/NYPD, don't you *dare* try to tell me that it's my civic duty to donate to the *California* firefighters based on the events of 9/11.

So, yeah. I'm sorry, but when you ask me if I care about the lives of our missing children in America, and then you try to claim that you're not using some sort of tactic to get money? Not flying with me, sorry.

By this point, I have spent 5 minutes dealing with this jerk, my back is still killing me, all I want to do is get some bloody sleep already, and I'm way past cranky and well into megabitch.

"Yes, you are. *Yes*, you ARE using a tactic. I do not appreciate the attempt to guilt-trip me into giving money to your charity. Congratulations, you have ensured that, even when I *do* make a profit, I'll never donate money to you, nor to anyone else who calls my house, and I'll be sure to encourage my friends not to do so, either. Do *not* call my house again."

As I brought the phone down from my ear to hang it up, I heard him say, crankily, "Try to have a nice day."

Yeah, I know. Overly bitchy, but they always time these calls to coincide with holidays, and as mentioned, I really don't appreciate being guilted into this kind of thing, which made that knee-jerk 'fuck you' response that much stronger. I'm also really tired of them calling my house. Makes me wish I'd had a separate line installed before I did the whole business thing, then it wouldn't be a nuisance for the entire household when they call looking for me.

Rar. Not a tactic my (still sore) ass!